How does dating myself limit other dating?

Sharing my new adventure with friends is proving interesting. At lunch yesterday, I excitedly shared, “I’m blogging.”

“I don’t get blogging,” came the response.

Hmmm. Where do I take the conversation from here? I had wanted a question to indicate I’d peaked her interest, “Oh, really, tell me more? What about?”

Instead, I began fumbling and trying to explain blogging, “I’m sharing with the world my thoughts and experiences, sometimes I’m just ranting in a written, online format.”

Her scrunched nose, narrowed eyes, and slight back and forth head motion indicated uncertainty.  Not to be deterred, I forged ahead.

“Yes, I’m writing specifically about a one-year project I’m doing: 52 Dates with Myself. Tighter scrunching of her eyes and nose. Still, I kept going.

“I’m dating myself for a year and writing about it.”

That’s when the pin came out and went straight for my balloon. “Doesn’t that kind of limit you from dating other people?”

For the past 18 hours or so, that question’s been rattling round my brain. I’ve begun ranting on paper. But I’d like to hear from you?

What are your thoughts on my friend’s question? How about sharing them below?

Categories: Challenges, Commitment, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “How does dating myself limit other dating?

  1. Hi Pam!

    You know, I’m actually quite inspired by your 52-dates with yourself, so much so, I’ve been thinking about how I might do the same thing. COMMIT to myself! I spend an awful lot of time alone, and I’m involved in all sorts of things… from work responsibilities to parent, church, and school related activities, to gathering friends around my table for meals. I can keep busy and involved, and I can spend a lot of time alone, but I don’t nurture ME all that well (or at all). I am always just taking care of someone or something else, or thinking about how I can take care of it/them. I only start paying attention to myself when I’m worn ragged and have no choice.

    I think when we’re dating other people (which I will tell you is honestly not a calling I feel right now), we are basically spending time trying to find how we fit together… getting to know each other, hoping to please each other, find affirmation in each other… and slowly mold our lives to each other. Not bad things… but you know, I think there’s a lot to be said to committing a year of your life to ‘courting’ yourself. It doesn’t mean abandoning friendships or forsaking the thought of a lifelong companion. In fact, when I read your first post, I thought… how cool. And I immediately wondered… what if I committed to regularly treating myself with the same courtesy, love, and enthusiasm I would another person… and what if I made that commitment part of my life- just like breathing? It seems to me that I might be a whole lot healthier in the long run, and more content at just being me.

    There are millions of interesting people out there that we could spend our time getting to know. But… why should we think they are more interesting or worthy of our energy than our own selves and the life God gave us to love? So I guess after writing all this, I definitely don’t think dating yourself limits you. I imagine it could only give a person a greater sense or worth, balance, and healthy autonomy… and then, if that another God-intended “half” finds his way onto your path… all the better for the both of you, right? Why shouldn’t you love yourself first? I wouldn’t scrunch my nose, and I wouldn’t call that selfish or self-limiting; I would call it self-care. And it is TOTALLY what I need right now. So rock on, sister. Keep on inspiring. Thanks for the question that made me write all this. It helped me! (Another GREAT reason to Blog!!)

    xx Love,

  2. Pingback: Reprising the Question « 52 Dates with Myself

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