Posts Tagged With: Relationships

“I’ve done what I could…and my painting is open to criticism; that’s enough”

“I’ve done what I could as a painter and that seems to me to be sufficient. I don’t want to be compared to the great masters of the past, and my painting is open to criticism; that’s enough.” ~ Claude Monet

Thanks to Wine and Canvas for a great date night and first painting class.

With my version of Monet’s “Water Lillies, 1916” painted on one of 52 Dates with Myself

Ponder & Chat: What are you working on today that you’re ready to put out to the world?

Advertisements
Categories: Artistic Dates, Challenges, Commitment, Date Ideas, Reflections | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why is what you do today important?

What you do with today

More wisdom from this week’s adventure in 52 Dates with Myself

Categories: Challenges, Commitment, Reflections, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If you never did, you should…

Dr. Seuss Quote

Dr. Seuss wisdom discovered on one of my 52 Dates with Myself

Categories: Reflections, Uncategorized, Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’ve Gotta Meet “The Women of Lockerbie”

“Our hurts unite us. They define us. They make us not only human, but a family.” Billy Coffey
The year 1988 began with Miami defeating Oklahoma for the college football championship. Two days later Margaret Thatcher became Britain’s longest-serving prime minister of the century. Debi Thomas and Brian Boitano became U.S. Figure Skating Champions. CBS premiered a new show called “48 Hours,” and “Phantom of the Opera” opened at New York’s Majestic Theater. Judge Anthony Kennedy received unanimous approval to the U.S. Supreme Court.
In May of 1988, the Soviets began their withdrawal from Afghanistan. In July, the U.S.S. Vincennes, a naval warship patrolling in the Persian Gulf, mistakenly shot down an Iranian commercial airbus killing all 290 people onboard.  August saw leaders from Iran and Iraq begin talks to end their eight-year war. Earthquakes and hurricanes, nuclear testing and missile launches tested human resilience and faith.
On December 21st, Pan Am’s Flight 103 exploded after leaving Heathrow Airport in London for New York. All 259 people onboard were killed, and 11 more on the ground died as the wreckage fell to earth in Lockerbie, Scotland.
Years later among the hills of Lockerbie roams an American mother looking for the remains of the son she lost in the crash of Pan Am Flight 103.  She is accompanied by her husband, who has kept things together through the required acts of finality that accompany a death, at the expense of his own grief.
The couple encounter the Women of Lockerbie, who are striving against the U.S. Government over the disposition and possession of the clothing found among the crash ruins. They are determined to convert the act of hatred into an act of love by washing the clothing pieces and returning them to the families of those killed.
Playwright Deborah Brevoort wrote The Women of Lockerbie in the structure of a Greek tragedy. The fictional work, though loosely inspired by true events, is a poetic drama about the triumph of love over hate.  It’s powerfully packed with the raw emotions that accompany grief and loss and examples of the individuality of how we walk through it.
Presented by all for One productions, inc. at the Allen County Public Library Auditorium in downtown Fort Wayne, The Women of Lockerbie runs through May 13th.  Tickets may be obtained by calling (260) 622-4610.
Ponder & Chat: When was the last time you were emotionally moved by a play or movie? What was the underlying theme that touched you? How did it relate to your own life story or life lessons?
Categories: Date Ideas, Date Night, Theater, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Silence: the absence of noise or sound, stillness

Be still, and know that I am God.

A cell phone rings forth a computer-generated country tune.

Another buzzes and vibrates from a pocket or purse.

The air conditioner blower hums somewhere to my right.

Someone coughs and wipes his nose.

Another rustles her candy wrapper.

Be still…

But what is silence?

What is stillness?

Would it frighten me were I truly to experience it?

Or would I finally have a fuller glimpse of God?

Would my mind take over weaving thoughts and ideas,

Blaring forth the troubles of my heart or perhaps

The singing in my soul?

Know that I am God…

I think I long for that silence.

I think I desire to be still.

I know I long to know You.

From a silent place open to hearing, and

A stillness receptive to deeper listening.

Even in the midst of the airplane flying overhead and

The neighbor’s lawn mower just starting.

My heart can be still, and I can know.

Categories: Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Four things my friends do for my relationship with myself

Sometimes even the best relationships need a break. Including, and perhaps especially, the one I have with myself.

Now, I’m not talking about a break-up like the one in my April Fool’s day post. But rather just a simple hiatus from the daily routine and sometimes narrow focus that happens in a long-term relationship.

This past weekend, I had just such a break from the relationship with myself at a mini-retreat with three life-long friends. Life has taken the four of us down unique paths, even as it has given us much to share and learn from each other.

For years we were only Christmas card friends, but a few years ago we reconnected and established a loose routine of an annual retreat. We know our early histories quite well, the families from which we spawned, the siblings, the parents, the school days, the church groups, some of the spouses.

Our first times together were filled with catching up on the long, yet somehow short, years of life when we were not so connected. The children, the loss of spouses, the loss of parents, careers, faith, health, struggles, joys, happiness. All the things that make a life.

Now, having added more history, we just enjoy being together. Sometimes we’ll throw in a show or a museum. We may seize the hot tub from the kids at the hotel. But more often than not we’re gathered in the hotel room, chairs encircled around a game of cards or our feet propped on that same table with laughter and tears flowing.

I love my friends and am grateful that they:

  • hear me out and give me other perspectives to consider;
  • love me and challenge my faulty assumptions;
  • laugh with me and never mind the tears that closely follow;
  • feed my soul then release me to fly re-nourished for my journey and reinvigorated with commitment for my other relationships.
Categories: Commitment, Pure Fun, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Breaking Up!

That’s it!

I’ve had it!

It’s over!

I’m sick and tired of your neglect, your childish ways, your uncaring antics, your selfish choices!

We’re through!

 No, your “I’m sorry” is not going to do it this time.

I don’t know what I ever saw in you in the first place!

 Just go!

 Have a nice life!

 And don’t let that April Fool’s door hit you on your way out!

Categories: Breaking Up, Commitment, Pure Fun, Reflections | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unresolved

The same recurring theme keeps showing up in my dreams. These faces from my past, when life was different, and I was different. I am wanted. I am chosen. I am loved.

I see myself in these various scenes, and I’m not sure. Am I wanting? Am I choosing? Am I loving?

And what of today and this relationship I’m in with me? This wanting. This choosing. This loving.

Somewhere, like a seed planted deep within, grows knowledge that I am a chosen love, valued for who I was uniquely created to be, for who I am. Loved first.

The unresolved response is mine alone. I choose Love.

Categories: Commitment, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Smitten with Yellow Fever

“Yellow wakes me up in the morning. Yellow gets me on the bike every day. Yellow has taught me the true meaning of sacrifice. Yellow makes me suffer. Yellow is the reason I am here.” ~ Lance Armstrong

The gorgeous yellow daffodils in the blog header are from my garden!!! They’re a beautiful mid-March surprise filling the weekend with a sense of optimism and happiness, perhaps even sparking creativity and energy.

They shine. They stand tall. They open their faces to the sun and the world around them. They shout, “Hey, look at me. I’m back after enduring the harshness of winter, and I’m blooming.”

Those who study the effects of color upon humans say that yellow stimulates us mentally, activating our memory and also encouraging communication. (Well, there you go, now we know why you’ve got another blog post to read.)

I associate yellow with taking me places, like to school on a bus or around the streets of New York in a taxi with an excitable horn. Any of you out there old enough to remember the Yellow Freight trucks? I wonder if they are still around? (Oh, was that the daffodils activating my memory?)

The contradictions in yellow fruits intrigue me. Lemons smell fresh and inviting yet attack my taste buds with such vengeance that I frown, clench my jaws, and spit. Bananas wrap their sweetness behind a bitter jacket and disguise the fact that both the flesh and the jacket are quite vulnerable. Pineapples, too, mingle sweet and sour in a manner both enticing and punishing me for overindulgence.

Famous artists disagree about yellow:
   “How wonderful yellow is. It stands for the sun.” –Vincent Van Gogh
   “What a horrible thing yellow is.” –Edgar Degas  
Fact is, yellow covers the spectrum of good and evil. From gorgeous flowers and glorious sunshine to jaundiced eyes and yellow-bellied cowards, it follows us through the range of wonder and struggle that is earth and humanity.
Apparently if yellow was my favorite color, it would mean this about me:
You are quite the powerful thinker. It’s this talent that allows you to overcome a plethora of great obstacles. Luckily, this doesn’t affect your ego and you give off a pretty easy-going appearance. You enjoy the finer things in life and also have an attraction to art. If you can help it, you try not to rock the boat. But you also can’t stop yourself from searching for new ideas, methods or styles.
“What’s this post got to do with your 52 Dates with Myself?” (Ha, you didn’t think I heard you, did you?)
Just slowing down enough to notice and give thanks for the daffodils and the sunshine. To consider and enjoy beauty, simplicity, and complexity. Cogitating the contradictions of little things both in my world and within me.
Ponder and Chat: What’s your favorite color? How does that color impact you? What contradictions show up in your world around that color?
Categories: Pure Fun, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Reprising the Question

Perhaps you recall a few weeks ago one of my friends asking me if dating myself kept me from dating other people.  We had some good conversation around that both here and on Facebook.

Actually, I think my friend makes a great point.

Several of my single friends of late have recently started dating someone exclusively. It’s been great fun watching their excitement and sharing in their newfound giddiness. Yet, sure enough, there are some differences in our interactions. For example, I’m noticing:

  • I don’t hear from them quite so much. Makes sense, when they have time for chats, they’re chatting with their new special someone.
  • I don’t do things with them quite as much. Makes sense, they have someone they’re busy doing things with and aren’t necessarily looking to make it a group event.
  • I don’t know what’s happening in their lives quite as much. Makes sense, we’re not interacting on as regular a basis or sharing our lives.

During my last dating relationship I noticed feeling as if some of my friends were backing away. No doubt I was less available, and they were less inclined to think I was available, but:

  • I didn’t hear from them quite so much. When I would talk with them, they would indicate that they thought I was probably otherwise engaged, too busy with my new relationship to connect with them.
  • I didn’t get invited to outings quite as much. Probably an assumption that I already had companionship.
  • I didn’t know what was happening in their lives quite as much. We weren’t doing the regular and natural sharing that we once had been doing. My sounding board was often my new friend. Friendships are built from mutual give-and-take.

So, what’s this got to do with dating myself? Just like being in any other relationship, there seem to be some things falling by the wayside as I commit to this one year of 52 Dates with Myself.

  • I’m not connecting with my friends quite so much. Like any relationship, this one with myself takes time. Time to reflect. Time to plan. Time to interact and discover. Time to be together with myself.
  • I’m not inviting others to do things with me quite as much. This one troubles me a lot, as so much of life seems better experiencing it with others. But a Date with Myself has that danged prepositional phrase in it.
  • I don’t know what’s happening in their lives quite as much. Losing contact with others is definitely not what I want to have happen here, but fewer talks and fewer shared experiences means it’s harder to stay connected.

Ponder and Chat: What do you notice that falls by the wayside as you make time for yourself? How are your other relationships impacted?

Categories: Challenges, Commitment, Reflections, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: